Breaking news: Studs on Tour! PHN goes across the pond
With fans in Europe clamouring for better hockey, PHN takes flight
Pro Hockey Network has three weeks of action at biggest rink in England
After playing in front of sellout crowds near Toronto for nearly 2 decades, the PHN will play its first ever slate of foreign games in England.
It’s just like the NFL and NHL. And about time say veteran PHH’ers.
“Tally ho” said Jon “Axeman” Polakowski of the Capitals.
“Cheerio” said teammate “Lumberjack” Matt Hildo.
The 4 team super league will play six games over three weeks games at the 7500 seat National Ice Centre in Nottingham.
The games are already sold out.
Luxo accomodations, but one bro looking to bond with rival
The PHNPA has endorsed the trip and says all players will be given generous per diems and private rooms at 5 star hotels.
Whalers wingman Tsanger “The Banger” though says he wants a roommate, ideally from another team.
He’s looking forward to the bonding experience of being on the road.
‘We’ve always been more than just a hockey league,’ he said. ‘We’re a community of friends who love the game and support each other. This trip is just bringing us closer together.’
Not everyone agrees.
Carbonara Crew angry
The “Carbonara Crew,” a group of nearly 20 players, is outraged that the PHN’s first trip abroad was not to Italy.
Or at least Woodbridge.
Joe Barbs, co captain of the Seals said che cazzo – non c’è niente da mangiare in Inghilterra se non bangers and mash o quelle focaccine secche.”
(What the fuck? – there’s nothing to eat in England but bangers and mash or those dry scones).
Tony “Trick Shot” Jaco said “Il nostro equipaggio costituisce più della metà della lega. Diciamo solo che i burloni nella sede centrale sono fuori di testa su questo.”
(Our crew makes up almost half the league. Let’s just say the jokers in head office in over their heads on this one.)
“Cazzo con noi lo scopri” said Nick “Godfather” LaPeach.
(You fuck with us you find out)
It’s been whispered for years that the the Carbonara Crew is an organized crime syndicate and essentially the PHN mafia, something the VP of Corruption denied.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Captain Morgan. “The peg leg was a skill saw accident and my eye patch is just for style.”
Yeah, sure and the rum on your breath is from a rum raisin ice cream.
Rumours are swirling about the Fall 2023 return of Carbonara Crew heavy hitter Mel Dawg. Stay tuned for that story.
Private jets
The teams are taking 4 chartered jets to London, leaving at 8 PM on Monday night.
Captain Mike of the Capitals, a licensed pilot will not be in the cockpit of the Capitals plane.
“Yo, I’m here for the in flight service and some bubbly, I’m not gonna miss the entertainment Aflie “Adult Film Star” booked.”
“Too bad the only act Alfie booked was The Kuz doing unplugged versions of power ballads,” laughed the witty Whaler known as “Arsey.”
A special farewell party with fans has been scheduled in Brampton before take off. Players who miss the bash also miss the flight!
For real, check here for details on the next three games
Games for Jan 30, Feb 6 & Feb 13 are at 8:00 and 9:00 PM
Greenbriar Recreation Centre
1100 Central Park Dr, Brampton, ON L6S 2C9.
Thanks to Nick and Morgan for getting us back on track.
We’re still. not sure when or if we’ll return to the Iceplex.
We’re making plans to finish the season at other rinks if we need to.
More to come!