Rookie Round up Winter 23/24 Season
Three newbies getting noticed for their quickness and quirkiness
The PHN 23/24 winter season has been one of saw offs with tie after tie after tie – yeah talking to you Nords and Whalers!
It’s also marked the debut of three quick new skaters who also bring some quirks to league.
Fortunately the PHN has a media clauses in entry level deals, so all the rookies had no choice but to take some hard hitting questions as veteran Dunner interviewed the trio.
He fully expects them to go as easy on him on the ice and he does in this story!
Alright it’s Family Day and time to officially welcome the rooks to family.
Matthew P.
Age: 30
Position: Left Wing
Hockey History: Travelling house league, only had one team in town. Hung up the skates at the ripe old age of 15
Favourite player: Joe Sakic, the guy had the best stick curves
Fun facts:
- Wedge recruited Matt without having ever seen him play based on knowing he was a runner and cyclist with great lung capacity unlike many of the wheezers and geezers in the PHN
- he truly had not played hockey since high school before his PHN debut
- he only uses yellow stick tape
- he lets Gus soak his hockey bag in Febreze every game
Captain Wedge comment:
He’s an interesting guy. I’m super impressed by the long lay off and being able to contribute. He seems to like the colour yellow when it comes to stick tape. He prefers when the tape is borderline falling off. And if he scores he keeps it. When he doesn’t he changes it up for the next week.
He’s also had the same hairstyle since high school. I think it’s some type of mousse for shine and volume! Whatever works he sticks with it seems and the hair has always been nice and curly lol.
Interview Highlights:
Is it true you haven’t bought a new hockey stick since you were teenager?
Matthew P: I found like 6 sticks all in my garage – and they are generally all the same height and I have been trying them out week by week to see if one of them is better than another but honestly cannot tell the difference, so I have no idea which one is best and it’s kind of not working out. They’re not like wooden sticks – they look like modern sticks – but they are like 3 times the weight of new things but I do not care.
Why don’t you always wear team socks?
Matthew P: I like to spice it up a bit wand wear my old socks from my old team
Did they not give the new kid socks?
Matthew P: They did but it’s kind of like they are small on me and it’s not like super soft cotton …. but I have been getting some static for it
Are you saying you have sensitive skin?
Matthew P: I kind of I feel any sort of material change is massive for the game and just for my skin
So this leads to my next question what kind of product would be a natural fit for you as endorsement and apparently it’s moisturizer of some kind?
Matthew P: Totally Cerave – did you see the Cerave Super Bowl commercial with Michael Cera? I wish that was me up there!
Jon L
Age: 25
Position: Left Wing
Hockey history: AA/AAA from 12-16
Fav player: Pavel Datsyuk, silky soft mitts, impressive acceleration and deceleration, and always showed up when it counts.
Josh L
Age: 27
Position: Defence
Hockey history: Select 14-16
Favourite Player: Sid the Kid
Fun facts:
- Adult film star Alfie and Rod the Bod recruited brothers Josh and Jon. It’s believed they met at an after party. If you’re asking “after what?” we can’t help you.
- Alfie thinks he’s been scored on by one of the brothers “but I can’t tell which one lol.” Actual quote!
- For the record, Josh is older, chill and plays D, while Jon is younger, plays forward and is more like a overexcited puppy in the off leash area of a park charging all the older dogs trying to steal their ball. The worst lol!
- Josh, Jon, Rod and Alfie used to have a boy band called FAHRENHEIT.
Check out their video here! https://youtu.be/ZxtS6P6lMVU
Rod “The Bod” report:
Captain Marco’s comment:
Interview Highlights:
What is your deal Jon when I see you play it seems like I feel like I am watching too fast too furious!
Jon: True story, I’m all gas, no brakes!
What party tricks have you guys picked up from the Whalers so far
Jon: This isn’t a party trick but I think what we have learned it too keep the What’s App chat on mute because you never know what guys are gonna say and it could be NSFW!
Which one of you guys is as much is as much of a stud as Rod the Bod?
Josh: That would be Jon, he literally drives Rodney’s old car!
Jon: Rodney game me his hand me down car and I was like okay
What kinda car are talking about?
Jon: A 2008 Toyota Matrix – standard – it is a lot of fun to drive!
That is a stud-mobile for sure that could have been in the official vehicle PHN player’s poll!
Jon: And some lore behind the vehicle it was the official ride for Rodney and Alfie
Hold on that ride! I bet a few of Rodney’s 17 kids were conceived in this car!
Josh aka The Great Wall of China covering the Whaler’s end.OK Josh if your brother is all gas no brakes, what’s your style of play?
Josh: I’m the Great Wall of China, too bad there’s no contact or I would be laying people out!
Wow, ok the PHN Disciplinary Committee has that remark on the record!
New question, who are you guys looking for endorsement deals with?
Jon: Costco I love it
Josh: Yeah he has a collection of Costco tracksuits –
Good luck with the first ever PHN playoffs!