Stars in strife! Chaos on Chiefs! Captain Mike nearly nabs new wingman
There was major BTS drama in the PHN over the past few weeks – and for those of you who don’t know – BTS means “behind the scenes.”
And the drama swirling around the Chiefs and Stars nearly resulted in a blockbuster trade that was scuttled at the last minute.
BTS drama set stage for serious shakeup
While the Stars have been on a roll since picking up Randy “Kapper” Kaplan, one the league’s premier Swiss army knife style players, Captain Chris has been largely AWOL with alleged injury and illness.
Co captain Pags had enough.
A source told the PHN scribe that Pags said ” If I have to run this team solo then I’m going to run it my way.”
That comment sheds light on another Pags beef, this one with the Stars other co captain, the yoga practicing and cat loving goaltender Brando.
Brando it seems has at times shown cat like indifference towards administration and spent all his time snoozing or grooming himself when not between the pipes.
The almost mega deal
So Pags brokered a deal with Captain Mike of the Chiefs, who by the way is a real life captain of the skies.
It was Brando and Captain Chris from the Stars to the Chiefs for “Adult Film Star” Alfie and the John Erik/Turbo tandem.
Yes. This 4 way deal has a twisted 3 way element to it with the 2 for 1 Niner/John Erik /Turbo thing.
PHN perviness as usual!
From the Chiefs bench Captain Maverick Mike thought it was time for him to get a Goose.
And that goose was the ginger Chris with his pandemic fifth wave flow.
A source on the Chiefs told the PHN scribe that Captain Mike wants a real wingman because since “Adult Film Star” Alfie has become a dad, Captain Mike has been disappointed.
Apparently Mike said lately the adult film star’s late nights “have been filled with diapers, not dames.”
So what prevented this mega deal from happening?
Apparently Captain Chris Niner was willing to bail on his own team to join the Chiefs for a post season run.
Some think he may even have faked his ailments to engineer the deal.
A source told the PHN scribe that when Pags told him he was about to be dealt he said he wasn’t even sure green was his favourite colour anymore.
And on a recent PHN video Chris Niner was seen in a St Louis Blues sweater.
According to other PHN scribe sources, though Captain Mike would not hit the ejector seat button on Alfie.
Or Alfie has some embarrassing photos or Mike.
Or both.
Playoff Plot Twist?
The Chiefs have done it again. Tanked the regular season only to show signs of promise as the playoffs approach.
PHN veterans are wary of the post season “pull it out of the fire” history of the club.
“I’ve seen this movie before, I know the plot. But those guys aren’t real underdogs, they’ve just been dogging it,” said Captain Dom of the Wendy’s.
“But there’s not going to be a happy ending for the adult film star this time around.”