Studs stay on tour! New rink, new times this week. Plus, meet a famous fan

PHN stars impress UK fans, playing next game in Glasgow

The PHN is proving a smash hit in the UK, with fans lapping up the hot hockey action.

Even the Princess of Wales Kate Middleton has been checking out the games, and taking limo rides with unnamed PHN players.

Bruising Caps D man D Rock says he’s pumped that fans like Kate have really taken to his “hit first, ask questions later” playing style.

“They appreciate an athlete who can take a hit and not roll around on the ground for 5 minutes,” said D Rock adding, “you want a piece of me you little f#*ker? I will take you out!”  

The outburst came just seconds after the veteran player stubbed his toe on the side table beside the king size bed in his palatial hotel suite but did not go down.

D Rock was setting the tone for his ginger teammate and poster boy Chris Niner, who sat out last week with a broken toe.

In his off time the cagey Cap veteran traded the team supply bag for a ride on a double decker bus, leaving the squad without any hockey tape.

Niner, Kuz and Matt M were seen doing some royal sightseeing.

For his part, Matt M was hoping to get a private moment with the Princess Kate.

“I don’t know what she sees in William,” said Matt M.

“I mean he may be the future King, but is there a future for the monarchy?

Really? Like the the polls are mixed at best and didn’t a couple countries bail out recently?”

“I’m not sure I would open with that” said The Kuz.

After going glassy eyed for five minutes he did have a suggestion though.

A veteran move.

“Maybe ask her if she’d like a private skating lesson.”

While we wait to see what kind of move Matt comes up with, let’s talk to other teams about taking in the town.

“It took a while to get over jet lag, but now we’re feeling great,” said Nords Captain Pags.

The sightseeing on top of the franco squad’s list was a phallic clock.

A towering time piece.

“We got to see Big Ben the other day, it’s almost as tall as big Fini.”

New Rink, New Times

This week the league is moving to Glasgow’s Braehead Arena, the one time home of the Scottish Eagles, a team from the defunct Super League. 

The Eagles, with a roster of mostly Canadians, were managed by Canadian Bob Zeller of the famous Zeller department store family.

For real!

“That is for real” said PHN veteran Dunner.

“I skated with them in 2002 or 2003.  It was all part of a documentary on CBC. Look it up.”

Actually for real the games this week are:

9 and 10 PM

Susan Fennell Sportsplex, Rink 1.

It’s at 500 Ray Lawson Blvd in Brampton. 

Hockey, haggis and hot air

The complaints about British food have continued and are no doubt about to get worse.

Caps Captain Mike said the team meals of bangers and mash combined with the time change have most of his squad sleeping through practice times.

“The beer and fish and chips and curried Pringles chips aren’t helping either,” complained Mike, “the flatulence is next level.”

“I can see a couple of these guys going for the haggis just to see if their foul fuel can set off a fire alarm when they let one rip.”

When asked which guys Mike said,”you know who why they are, everyone knows who they are.”

But …. do we?

Find out who’s leaving the most vile vapour trail tonight at 10!