The PHN 20th anniversary Summer Season Toilet Bowl!
Who will flush their season away?!
The PHN 20th Anniversary Finals and Toilet Bowl are set!
An epic season is coming to an epic end.
Twenty years of PHN action comes to a exciting close tomorrow night.
Are you ready for it?
Here’s the scoop or rather the poop on the trophy nobody wants to win!
Toilet Bowl Battle Caps v Nords
Playing to Monday at 8pm to ‘gagner’ the ‘cuvette de toilette’ are the Nordiques and Capitals.
The Caps came in last in the playoff round robin with a tie and a loss landing them at
5 points (2 set points + 3 for the tie).
The Caps, who took first place and went to the finals in the Winter Season just, could not get it together this summer with new captain Jonny P joining D-Rock in running the Red.
Some people say if was Captain Jonny’s inability to fully implement the “synchro D” scheme, which was inspired by watching women’s artistic swimming at the Oympics.
“I’m not giving up on it” said Jonny, “it’s going to revolutionize how D is played in the PHN
With a win and a loss the Nords landed at 11 points (1 set point + 6 points for the win plus 3 points for goal differential) and are hoping to win 2 games in a row for the first time this summer.
Captains Niner and Dom B have not lived up to their self proclaimed title at the best D tandem in the T-Dot and could wind up fired.
“I take no responsibility for this outcome,” said Niner.
“I blame ranking the goalies and the playoff format for what happened.”
His co captain Dom thinks it’s something else.
“It’s the carbon tax man, guys are spending so much on carbon that they cannot enjoy their pre-game Linguine Carbonara, they’re too stressed.”
Hmmm not sure about whether that adds up, but we’ll leave it there for now.
Now we’re interviewing the long time losers from both teams about what happened.
Rod the Bod blows it
Rodzilla … really sorry this season didn’t work out for you with a shot at the championship! What do you think went wrong for the Caps?
I played
Aww man that is true but don’t beat yourself up. I mean they only tied in game 1 when you were away. How did your kids take the news about the loss?
They were asleep when we lost so when my 32nd or 33rd kid asked, I think their name is Andy, I followed the first rule of parenting – hide stuff from them.
I told him that we don’t have championships in PHN, it is just a pickup league.
I think you had a pretty good chance to score in the second period – what happened there?
I should never have been in a position to score but thankfully Dunner decided I was a non-threat and went to triple-team Langer. See question #1 for what happened.
I’m pretty sure Dunner was on the bench then but in any event would you consider a contract renewal from the Caps or are you looking to move on?
I got an offer from the Leafs this morning so of course I’m hoping to get my contract renewed with the Caps to have a chance at getting past the first round of the playoffs.
Ummm burn Leaf Nation! Oh yeah who are you rooting for Monday?
See #2 – there are no championships.
C’mon you can tell me who you want to win long time loser Moe or long time losers Mark and Morgy?
I like M&Ms.
Okay, candy coy answer I like it. So you like green and blue M & M’s especially. Cool.
Actually I really just like the red ones and yellow ones are good too. Moe could be a gold yellow one.
Really dude? Why not just say you like Mr. Big then?
Dude it does not matter who wins, but wink wink I do like M&M’s.
Danner in the dumps
Danner, you’re still not going to the finals. This is got to be hard for you as the top tendie pick for the last few seasons.
Yeah it sucks man, it’s eating me up.
On the upside though you played two great games Monday night. Do you feel like you’ve shaken your big game playoff curse?
No cause I still didn’t get it done.
You could have let in some softies while playing for the Whalers and if that game was a tie – your team would have made the final.
How come you you played so hard?
I didn’t have it in me to throw.
Everyone knew what was at stake for me and it would’ve been to obvious if I threw the game
That’s a lot of intregrity man. That’s great. What’s the plan for the Toilet Bowl?
Win so we can get our captains off the hot seat.
Yeah a warm toilet seat can be bad news. Or so I’ve heard.
By the way, who are you rooting for Monday in the finals?
I would want Mark and Morgie to win!!
Both great hockey players and I don’t want Connor winning 3 seasons in a row
Yeah I can see how that would suck for you and few other guys.
Best of luck to you and Rod the Bod this coming winter to win a championship!
Find out if Moe needs media training to win over more and read about the finals here!