News

  • The Godfather is doing great!

    The PHN would like to wish The Godfather all the best as he recovers from his surgery. Really, this man is an icon, and there isn’t one person here that doesn’t think of him as the most amazing bro with the craziest flo! In fact, all the Commissioners are together because of this guy, and so we all are glad the GF is doing well. …

  • Guess whose Birthday it is????

    Our former Majesty, QUEEN VICTORIA!!!!! IN honour of our beloved Queen, we will be taking the week off from the PHN! I hope everyone parties hard, rocks out, and enjoys a BBQ filled weekend with plenty of booze! For those looking for the more subdued agenda, PHNPA President Mel Marrello is rocking it out in Jamaica mon!!! He welcomes everyone down to his private villa, …

  • North Stars storm the Capital, Kings crown themselves!

    A great first week to kick off the 10th year of the PHN!!! Early out of the gate, it looked like veteran North Stars were on their game after winning the PHN Championship this past winter.  Anthony Paglia and Steve Bertolo each potted two goals to lead their team to a 7-0 shutout.  Geoff Palin earned the SO, taking the early lead in the goaltending …

  • TRADED!

    Wow, the season didn’t even start, and already we have a goaltending swap, and one player traded under threat of the Godfather’s wrath! The Kings and Oilers swap goalies, with Benny “Cool as a Cucumber” Wang going to the Kings, with Daniel “My Comeback is yet to happen” Levesque going the other way.  No team official was available for comment, however, Levesque was seen returning …

  • TEAMS DRAFTED! BOOM!

    OK OK OK OK, We know we said Friday, but today is Saturday and we have the teams all ready to go! Firstly, before we get 5 million questions about the draft, let me lay it out for you so you know how it went down: Three highly esteemed Commissioners sat around a boardroom table with plenty of beer, scotch and fatty foods and were …

  • PHN Evaluation Night a roaring success?

    Well if by roaring success we uncovered the great VP of Corruption himself trying to upgrade his draft status, but caught on film stuffing his face, then yes! Clearly, some of our athletes need work on their diet! Some highlights: Peter Tsang going old school and visiting the midnight madness sale at the Centre Ice Hockey Shop and buying a pair of retro TACKLA pants! …

  • EVALUATION GAMES SET! DRAFT READY?

    PHN, The evaluation games are set!  Full games with referees and the scouts will be out.  Are you team dark? Are you team white?  Check out the schedule and what team you will be playing on! Game times will be: 8:30pm 9:30pm 10:30pm Bring your “A” game!  We will be scouting to rank everyone for the draft.  Once the schedule is out, please confirm your …

  • NORTH STARS the Brightest Star in the PHN!

    BOOOOOOOM! HUGE F’IN VICTORY for the North Stars! What a finish for the boys in green.  After a strong start to the season, the North Stars were targeted by league management and decimated.  Taking scoring sensation Jay Stevens, and some other dude I can’t remember, they started to lose.  Chris Ashton, self proclaimed Captain and Team Douche, was holding nothing back when he said, “The …

  • The Championship is TONIGHT!

    The North Stars vs. The Capitals…… EPIC! The medals are all shined up, boxed up, and ready to be handed out! The Championship Trophy, well, not so much! But it will be! Here at the PHN Engineering Dept. we are reconstruction the trophy as we suspect the hooligans and shannanigans will be a plenty after it is won! SEE IT TONIGHT! Championship game is 10:00pm! …

  • Championship Night is SET!

    Epic! One word to describe the performance of the North Stars in shutting down the Canucks. In a well played strategy, the North Stars senior management made sure that breakaway contortionist Steve “Turbo” Myska would be preoccupied with other activities, taking him away from the game. Little did the North Stars also realize that their very own Easterbrook would be kite sailing off the coast …

  • GONCALVES BUILT PHN TOUGH!

    While many may question Goncalves’ ability to dangle, the one thing you can’t deny this kid is toughness! In a playoff game last night, Goncalves separated his shoulder, in gruesome style.  Going in for the puck, he awkwardly bumped into the opposing player, causing his shoulder to pop out.  Not one to ever back down from anything, Goncalves got off the ice, and calmly sat …

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